Do you feel you have wasted a portion of your life? Whether that be years or months, to feel like time has been wasted is never a positive. I felt like that for many years after my divorce.

I was married for over 20 years. I never thought that I would get divorced, no one marries thinking that. I was a product of divorce, so I knew the devastation that can come from it and I never dreamed my kids too, would be a product of divorce. It is not something I casually chose to do or a decision that was taken lightly by any means. It was a grievous and shattering decision, one that I prayed and wrestled with.

After my divorce I felt emotionally and spiritually drained. I joined a Mending The Soul group and worked through and identified the issues that contributed to the choices I had made in my life up to that point. As soon as we finished the group I signed up to get facilitator training, I knew it was something I wanted to be a part of, to help others walk through their own story, name what needed named so they could get clarity and healing.

I started the grief process of grieving the loss of a dream, we would no longer be a family unit and there was a ton of loss to process in that, if it ever completely gets processed. Spiritually I was left in a state of confusion and I had to untwist what had been twisted, to read Bible verses in their historical context to really seek to understand their true meaning and purposes.

Facilitating a Mending The Soul group helped another layer of pain and shame to be healed and as I shared my story and listened to other brave women share their story too, I was inspired. I met my good friend and Non Profit partner there as we bonded over being able to relate to the struggle to re-connect to God spiritually and to heal emotionally. Her story was incredible and I remember telling her after I heard it for the first time that it was a complete miracle that she still believed in God, He was so misrepresented in her marriage.

There are many myths about Divorce. The author of the book “So You Are a Believer....Who Has Been Through a Divorce”, Joseph J. Pote says: “Our greatest and deepest covenant is with God, our most enduring covenant partner says all the love we lavish on others, all the work, prayers, and effort, He accepts as being given to Him.” He said that through his own tears of remembered agony. To think that how we treat others is how we show God’s love is not a new concept. For believers, love is never wasted. (Matt. 25:31-46, John 15:12-13, 1John 4:8)

Pote writes: “Every tear you shed, Jesus has stored in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8), Every prayer you prayed, Jesus accepts as being poured out to Him, in love. All the effort was not wasted.... Knowing this..... we can choose to love again, unreservedly and unconditionally. He will accept your love offerings as being given to Him.” We can commit to a ministry or Non Profit more zealously because we have not wasted all those years. The love, prayers, and emotional energy we poured on our spouses was given to God as a love offering onto Him. So there is no such thing as wasted years! Let that sink in and give you encouragement and perseverance. There is life after divorce. Our best years can be ahead of us, in a future filled with HOPE.